James Anthony Ellis
Legacy Magazine, Editor
Get up Jim.
Get up.
You are just laying there shaking and shaking. What good is that?
That’s not going to get you anywhere.
So get the hell up and get moving!
Such was the voice that came to me in those mornings I would lie there, trying to continue to rest, just having awakened from a night’s rough sleep. This was the internal dialogue that was kicking me into gear. It’s what I needed in order to kick-start my life again.
It was March 2006. I had just lost a full-time job of which I had gotten all cozy with for 14 years. For those years, this job as a Systems Analyst at a local health care organization had slowly become “the source of my good,” “the source of my income,” and perhaps even the false “source of my power.”
So when my Brutus stabbed me in the back and the deed was accomplished, I found myself completely lost.
How would I find the income I needed in my life, especially since I had just purchased my first house seven months prior? Who was I without this job? What was I to do?
Follow the thread of negative thoughts, and it didn’t take long to drill down to “I will be homeless” and the biggy: “I will die.”
These are the sort of thoughts that can keep you up at night. These are the thoughts that will have you shaking in terror as you wake up in the morning, in this brand new predicament of the “unknown.”
In hindsight, I could see that each negative thought represented one of my barriers.
- I am a failure.
- I am not good enough.
- Others know more than I do.
- I don’t have what it takes to be successful.
Such terrorizing thoughts were alive and kicking around in my head, especially in those mornings I would wake up in a cold sweat.
So what could help me in this situation? What could support me in facing and overcoming these monster barriers?
I didn’t have to go far. The answer was right in the thoughts that came up from a deeper place.
Get up Jim.
Get up.
You are just laying there shaking and shaking. What good is that?
That’s not going to get you anywhere.
So get the hell up and get moving!
When I arose from that state of paralysis, and chose to simply get moving, everything could shift.
- No longer a victim; I was in charge.
- No longer passive; I was active.
- No longer at someone’s effect; I was at cause.
Instantly as I raised my head and got out of bed, and found myself in action, there was forward mobility, autonomy and the will that could initiative necessary activity. There was hope.
I imagine the Universe can’t do much with a man in a passive state, immobile.
Facing barriers? Overcoming barriers?
Perhaps it’s as simple as getting in the game, getting into the mix.
And getting the hell up.