Not Engaging With Weaker Opponents

Abe Moore
Guest Contributor

In MDI we offer men many opportunities for personal growth, which includes leadership, perspective, truth, trusting relationships, mature masculinity, on and on. Within those opportunities there are always lessons available.

For me personally over the past 13 years, there have been many lessons learned and applied in my life.

One that stands out more than others is about “never engaging in battles with weaker opponents,” from our Code of Honor.

Initially I applied this lesson in my relationship with my wife as a way of not making her wrong. Over time I have learned to look at every relationship through this lens – whether the relationship is one I encounter for a brief moment as I drive down the highway, as I walk through the market or as I embrace a long-term relationships with my men’s circle, siblings or children.

From an outside view, the first impression in hearing those words may seem cocky or arrogant, as if the people I am in relationship with would see me as viewing them as a weaker opponents.

However I have learned when I combine the lesson of “never engaging in battles with weaker opponents” with a state of mindfulness I have developed from being on a men’s team, I am able to mitigate what could be an overblown ego with humility, care and kindness.

In order to progress and excel, in my mind’s eye, I believe I have the inner strength to always be the strongest. This is intentional and purposeful in the work I do. Having said that, this is an ever-evolving learning opportunity that requires a sense of responsibility and awareness of my own ego, in order that I don’t see myself as above anyone else.

How my lesson shows up in my life most of the time:

• I listen better.
• I am able to better care and be empathetic with my relationships.
• I am aware and present to the fact I don’t know what the other person is feeling or going through.
• This allows me to see others with a sense of kindness in mind.
• I find myself not needing to be right or needing to win in most situations.

Of course I have my moments where I am not impeccable with this, and most of the time it is with men in my circle and with evenly matched opponents. That’s all part of the lesson.

So if you ever find yourself in relationship with me engaging in battle with you, take it as a compliment … it just may be that I see you as a stronger opponent!