Michael Burns
MDI Contributor
The Legacy Discovery Weekend (LD) is an initiation experience for men, created and produced by the global men’s organization Mentor, Discover, Inspire (MDI). I was initiated by this weekend in 2008. After many years of stepping up to various leadership roles in MDI, I was invited onto the LD training team, where I served for five years.
The time I spent being trained to train participants on the LD way of being, expanded my ability to understand myself. That is my definition of initiation, so I went through an initiation as were the men who attended those LDs. “If you want to learn something, teach it.”
These weekends have been a life-altering encounter for many hundreds of participants over the years. Men who have benefited from taking the weekend, in turn, encourage other men in their lives to also attend. What I haven’t seen get much noticeable attention in that enrollment process is an aggressive recruitment of men to become a trainer on the training team.
Initiation: Beginning, Starting, Introducing
My life perspective and philosophy honors the rite of initiation, especially for boys and young men, and not excluding grown men. Whenever I have an experience that starts a new introduction into seeing and understanding deeper, more intimate aspects of myself, I am again being initiated.
This piece – “The Cockroach Theory” by Divya Bhrambhatt- is an example of what the LD initiation can give to us.
The Cockroach Theory
The cockroach theory for self-development…
At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady.
She started screaming out of fear.
With a face stricken with panic and a trembling voice, she began to jump, both her hands desperately attempting to rid herself of the cockroach. Her reaction spread like wildfire, causing everyone in her group to also become panicky.
After a valiant effort, the lady succeeded in pushing the cockroach away, but to everyone’s dismay, it landed on another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the second lady in the group to carry on the drama.
The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.
In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.
The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behaviour of the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.
Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?
If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?
He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.
It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach, that disturbed the ladies.
I realized that it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.
It’s not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.
More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.
Lessons learned from the story:
- I understood I should not react in life.
- I should always respond.
- The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.
- Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of.
A beautiful way to understand LIFE.
The HAPPY person is not because Everything is RIGHT in his Life.
He is HAPPY because his Attitude towards Everything in his Life is Right!
Just do the Legacy Discovery weekend, then be a trainer for other men going through the same process.