James Anthony Ellis
Legacy Magazine Editor
Celebrate. It is here at last. A guide just for you.
You are a man – or any sort of human for that matter – who has chosen to stay clear of the meat-lover’s pizza, the macho-man’s tri-tip meal of the victorious, or the latest “kill” presented upon the platter of champions.
You are a vegetarian… and yet you still belong to the tribe of “Lazy Dudes.”
What are you to do when you want to grab a quick meal and yet be faithful for a meat-free diet? Here are some tips.
- Mexican Food – The Del Taco and Taco Bell locales can get you a decent burrito with all the fixens, though I would stay away from the sour cream. Rubios as well can get you in and out pretty quickly with some tasty bean and cheese and chips. And then the other more culturally legit places like Santana’s offers an awesome potato taco with guacamole. Ask for “mucho” potatoes for best results.
- Plant Power – This is an actual fast food vegan place in California that offers “chicken” caesar wrap, a holy guacamole burger and “chicken” tenders. A bit pricey but it’s still good food that even your most carnivorous friend will have to admit tastes pretty damn good.
- Pizza Places – Black olives and mushrooms never hurt anyone. And if you can handle the cheese, go for it. But check with your large and small intestines first. Or afterwards.
- Pasta Places – At least in San Diego there are some fast-food pasta places, such as Pastalini. You can browse the toppings and choose three to accompany your pasta of choice. Even gluten free. I know I know. Gluten-free sounds girly-man weak, but for some men, they do have to listen to the bitching of their pissed-off colons.
- Sandwich Places – A veggie sandwich sounds pretty boring. And it IS. Unless you find one with one of those veggie patties. A hefty meal. And what about Subway? Pass it by – they still might have some of that leftover bread made of yoga mats.
- Chinese Food – Or as my Asian friend Eric Louie calls it: “Food.” (Yeah, I stole that joke). There are plenty of Chinese places around. Just make sure they don’t add in the ole energy-zapper MSG. Though mostly outdated, not even a meat eater would want this evilhood that renders the consumer completely lifeless upon the living room floor.
- Starbucks – There is some quick bites here. Example: The Impossible™ Breakfast Sandwich, Potato, Cheddar & Chive Bakes, Tomato & Mozzarella on Focaccia, and Egg, Pesto & Mozzarella Sandwich. And while you’re at it, grab a chocolate cake pop as a treat. Why the hell not?
- Smoothie Places – Nektar and Jamba Juice are two examples of places that can provide smoothies – good for a taste bud and a body as well. Get a veggie type smoothie if the word “fruity” brings up too many negative connotations.
- Open a Can – Soup can be fast food, but only if you have a stove, a pot and a can opener. If you do, this may take very little “menswork” to get the job done.
- Bonus Tip: Stay clear from lame wannabe healthy locales such as Chipotle. They may say they can make something vegetarian, but the unconscious high school dimwits here are just sloppy enough to drag some meat from the nearby bins of beef into your bowl. And they do that 100 percent of the time. Forget it.
So there you go. There are plenty more ideas if you have the drive to do an Internet search. There are always answers – even for men looking for fast food of the vegetarian variety.