Clearing Lists Leads to “Are We Good Now?”

Robert Mackintosh
Contributing Writer

In considering the lessons I’ve received in MDI, I believe I’d come across as a monotonously boring droning-on dork, so I’ll spare you that treachery.

I want to talk, instead, about how to have a kick-ass team meeting. And here we go:

1. Always bring cold beers for your buddies. This is the best strategy when trying to win a popularity contest.
2. Stroll in late – showing up on time is totally uncool. If anyone gives you any guff about being late and suggests a cleanup tell ‘em to take a hike (feel free to embellish with colorful language).

I guarantee this will lead to the start of kick-ass meeting.

Speaking about kick-ass meetings reminds me about a meeting a few years back – maybe around 2009. There was a gentleman on my team that rubbed everyone all wrong. From my point of view he was self-absorbed, whinny as all hell, and didn’t seem to give a shit about me.

So it came to pass that he found out that I was talking shit about him behind his back. One day at a team meeting – at the check-in – he says he’s got a list to clear with me. I was aghast, appalled, even dismayed. How could this SOB have a list on me?!

Naturally I let lose with all form of insults, sparing no four-letter words. He returned the service. This went on for awhile. I finally calmed down. When it was over he says, “Are we good now?” I shrugged my shoulders – I didn’t have anything to say. He says, “OK, good. Now let’s get the meeting started.” And that was that.

Well, it probably doesn’t take doctorates in psychology (they’re a bunch of idiots anyway) to figure out that I was a walking “loaded gun” just waiting to unload on someone. I had the good fortune to unload on a seasoned MDI guy instead of, perhaps, my wife, my boss, a co-worker, etc.

I’m a lucky guy.

Perhaps that’s my biggest lesson.