Friendship

Michael Burns
MDI Contributor

I was sharing some personal updates with friend Jim Ellis today. I, at the time, was bedside in the Kaiser infusion center supporting my Best Friend/Help Mate/Life Partner/long term committed team mate and wife, Patty, as she powered through her 5th of 6 chemo/immunotherapy sessions. This round of treatments, called Minimal Residual Disease, is a follow up to the first time, in 2021, she did a round with 6 sessions of intense chemo that got her into remission from 4th stage lymphoma.

Every 3 weeks from October to February, we drive from our home in Santa Cruz, over the hill, to Santa Clara and the treatment for the 3-4 hour “vacation” in bed while the life-killing therapy is fed into her blood. This progressively debilitates her immune system for the purpose of making her blood free of cancer. 

Hard to understand how suppressing the immune system can be therapy for the immune system, but we’ve bought into modern western medicine all our lives. (An aside; last time I had my blood tested at Kaiser, the nurse said she’s never seen a membership number as low as mine, 107511. My family became members around 1948 when I was a baby and membership was 154,000, now it’s 12,500,000)

Jim shared with me that he is also man-ing up for his particular life challenges (aren’t we all?). From his role as heroic, diligent, committed editor and producer of this gift to MDI, the Legacy Magazine, he asked if I had seen the notification that the theme of his next edition is “Friendship.”

This inspired me to write, as friends often do, on the magazine’s current topic. I focus on the status of the relationship I have with my primary friendship, with myself. Do I maintain a close, caring, healing, compassionate, generous relationship with myself? Yes. This frees me to have that level of relationship with others.

“Physician heal thyself”. I have observed that people, healers in particular, generally take care of themselves last. Meaning, we don’t follow the technique flight attendants suggest before every flight, that when needed, we put the air mask on ourselves first before helping others.

New Year’s Resolution: Take care of myself. Ever make that resolution? Year after year? “If not now, when?” “Habits are hard to break”. “Hope springs eternal.” And forgiveness is part of care giving.

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