Mentor Discover Mission Statement – To cause greatness by mentoring men to live with excellence and, as mature masculine leaders, create successful families, careers and communities.
Justin Hale
Legacy Contributor
Realizing the high bar of the MDI Mission Statement may be too much of a reach for many a lazy man in and out of the organization, leadership has chosen to lower the threshold of “maturity” and even “masculinity.”
Said one lackluster MDI leader, “Hey, the NFL can do it. The school systems can do it. Why can’t we lower our standards of excellence?”
The new policy will be effective immediately
From here on out the designation of “maturity” will still include:
- Passive aggressive behavior – trying to prove your point by doing stuff half-ass.
- Pouting, crossing arms, and slowly shaking head when requested to do anything.
- Name calling – forgoing debate and insight-sharing in order to blast out only a “you fucker.”
- List Holding – carrying grudges until the other man figures out what’s wrong.
- Labeling broken commitments as an opportunity to “recommit.”
- Sliding by on reaching SMART goals, with the best-devised excuse available.
From here on out the designation of “masculinity” will still include:
- Vegan Nights at Division Meetings.
- The routine consumption of Bud Light.
- Man buns.
- Shopping with your wife, supporting her needs at the likes of JOANN Fabric and Crafts, Victoria’s Secret and Bed, Bath & Beyond.
- Skipping out on team meetings due to inclement weather, the sniffles, or anything else that might pose itself as icky.
- The common usage of gray words such as “maybe,” “might,” “try,” “perhaps,” “unless,” “if,” “I think so,” and “gray.”
If any member of MDI has questions about this new policy, you can attend the upcoming Board of Directors meeting. Complaints can now be submitted in a whiney manner.
