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Jeff Kidman
Columnist
Legacy Discovery Shaman Jeff Kidman brings to you exercises you can undertake anywhere, at a time that works for you. For the man on a men’s team, in a men’s group or out there on his own. The intention of these exercises is to bring you into greater connection to something bigger, so that you can broaden your context, reach your highest potential and ultimately be more successful in the endeavors that matter to you and those you influence.
Start from where you are.
Duh, right?
But really we don’t do it. We aspire. We make New Year’s resolutions. Ever notice how it’s busier at your YMCA or gym in January? We see our current selves through a lens of what we want or sometimes what we fear.
Often this is true when we want to improve. We don’t exercise for several years. Now we decide it’s time to “get in shape.” Then we commit to working out four days a week. Bang, instant defeat, right? We want instant success, but we often set ourselves up for instant defeat.
This is also true about our gifts. We don’t want to recognize our strengths. This leads us to ignore the great things about ourselves that could get us the new job. We don’t talk about our successes when on that date with the awesome woman from the dating app.
But I say, stand in who you are.
Choose to be where you are.
Sound too simple? There is a power in owning where you are currently standing in your life.
Choose to be the man who can only do five pushups every two days. Know that is who you are. Maybe even THANK yourself for the choices that got you here today, all in one piece.
It’s not always easy to choose who you are right now. The reality is that you already did. You did make the choices to get you here. You made the choice to eat a diet and drink the beer that you knew would work out this way. You are the one who only talked about your drinking buddies on that first date. (She wasn’t impressed.)
Own that you are always late. Be the procrastinator.
Notice it every time and stand it the truth of it.
I choose to be a man who wants to disappear. I find ways to NOT write great things for Legacy Magazine. I find ways to forget the acknowledgments of my leadership that come from those around me. I choose to see that as who I am. I take responsibility for it.
Choose to take on what and who you are. Right now, in the present moment. This is a powerful practice of noticing and acceptance. A practice of being present to who you truly are. Being present to who you have already chosen to be.
Take on the daily practice to acknowledge who you are being.
Once you choose your present self and stand in the reality of how you show up in the world, then you can take on the power to be who you want. You can choose to be the potential without being run by who you were before.
Start from where you are.
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Interesting ideas here. Any thoughts on how to use this as an exercise for a men’s circle?
great question – one exercise would be ‘telling on yourself’. Each man tell the truth on themselves. This could be an emotional truth that he tries to avoid, such as ‘I pretend I’m not angry all the time’. Or it could be telling the truth about a mask we wear, such as ‘I am the funny guy to avoid dealing with all the other emotions bubbling up inside me’, or I wear the mask of the nice guy to avoid conflict’.
The flip side exercise would be a version of ‘strength bombardment’. One man stands up and each of the men tell him a truth they see about him. In strength bombardment we focus on the positive traits, the ones we often deny to ourselves.
Going way back in our Men’s team history – the code of honor is a great tool as well. A man can can read each point of the code, and ask how it is present in his life OR why it is not. There is always a truth there in how each one expresses itself in our lives. This can also be flipped where the team tells the man where they see each part of the code either as a strength or as a weakness in that man.
Those are some ways to get to the truth of where your are.
Kidman