Eric Louie Guest Writer
Men winning. We talk about it, we refer to it, but what does it mean? To me, it means men becoming successful. Success for men comes in lots of different forms and manners.
Examples that I have seen are below. You may relate to some; you may also be able to add to the list:
- Achieving life goals (relationships, for example) or career goals (jobs, education, perhaps financial success)
- Overcoming obstacles such as fears and lack of motivation
- Restoring or establishing self-confidence
- Asking for and accepting help that moves you forward in life
- Living a life of your own purpose versus a purpose imposed on you from society, family or peers
- Stepping up for leadership
- Awareness of your responsibility and power as a man
- Accountability for your actions and attitudes
- The integrity of keeping your word and commitments
- Changing from an individual mentality to a team or larger mentality
- Transformation from negative “can’t do” to positive “can do” no-problem attitudes
The list can go on and on. All of us have other examples of men winning in their lives.
Why is it important to have men win? For me, I get motivated by seeing other men succeeding. Specific stories are confidential. But supporting men to win – men to be successful in their lives, careers, relationships, goals – is very rewarding for me and others, because their win is our win (another example to add to the list).
What have I seen in a general way?
- Men winning with successful marriages, either new or repaired.
- Men overcoming addictions and obstacles that they move their lives forward instead of being stuck – men getting unstuck.
- Men winning by finding their place among men, whether on a men’s team, in a church group, Boy Scouts, sports team, whatever that place may be.
- Men winning by becoming leaders in their family and communities.
- Men winning by making a positive difference in the lives of others.
Another win for men is the feeling and realization of worthiness of support. I’m winning when I can ask for help, and I can get the true support and help from men without any obligation to them, or the feeling of guilt or shame that I’m not good enough and need help because I’m weak or unqualified.
How does a man get to the point where he’s ready to win?
He’s tired of being where he is and wants to change the course of his life and is prepared to commit to action.He’s willing to “be supportable,” also known as being coachable, being willing to take suggestions, be willing to ask for and accept help. Sometimes, getting to that point means hitting bottom, being in a very low point in his life. Sometimes, getting to that point is a result of other men pointing out that he can do and be better. And sometimes, getting to that point is a motivation after being successful in a smaller or lesser area and he’s ready to “go for it.”
I’m glad I wrote this article. By identifying the examples and the motivations for men winning, It has helped motivate me to win at an achievement that I’ve been struggling with for a long time.