{"id":15202,"date":"2020-09-30T01:58:01","date_gmt":"2020-09-30T05:58:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/2020\/09\/30\/turning-my-chair-to-face-my-mother\/"},"modified":"2021-04-25T17:09:17","modified_gmt":"2021-04-25T21:09:17","slug":"turning-my-chair-to-face-my-mother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/turning-my-chair-to-face-my-mother\/","title":{"rendered":"Turning My Chair to Face My Mother"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<pre class=\"wp-block-preformatted\"><strong>James Anthony Ellis<\/strong> <br><strong>Legacy Magazine Editor<\/strong><\/pre>\n\n\n\n<p>Because I wanted to really reach in and find that big victory in my life, I sat still with the question in my mind for a time. Though the success story that arises in my mind holds no huge fanfare, I think I got it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Reviewing the landscape of the past, there are a number of wins I\u2019ve experienced:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Producing a couple documentaries that supported the best in our society \u2013 children freed from sex trafficking, and law enforcement getting the support it needs to be at its best.<\/li><li>Writing eight books on topics of most importance to me \u2013 honor, metaphysics, communication, etc.<\/li><li>Finding my wife.<\/li><li>Running a marathon.<\/li><li>Countless poems, plays, blogs, articles and films, the latter of which included one premiere that was complete with a red carpet, stanchions, search lights and a limo.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>But beyond any glitter and glory, I sunk into another experience that really mattered, one that I consider at this time one of the biggest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It was about my mother. It was an experience where the delusion of separation was dissolved, the pain of misunderstanding was released, and the realization of the light was revealed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since the experience illuminated my mind with that which transcends this material world, no success of the material world could match it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The experience brings to mind a couple of quotes from the sacred text <em>A Course In Miracles:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\" type=\"1\"><li><em>If you achieve the faintest glimmering of what love means today, you have advanced in distance without measure and in time beyond the count of years to your release.<\/em><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><em>The holiest place on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love.<\/em><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, there was not an \u201cancient hatred\u201d with my mom, but there was definitely some upset, disappointment and anger that kept me from loving and even seeing my mother clearly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The back story \u2013 growing up, I felt neglected, unimportant. No abuse really. Just a sense that my thoughts and emotions were meaningless. Not able to shake that belief in my little kid brain, I grew up distant and distrusting. I was so distant I would go into my bedroom and close the door behind me every day, as if to say, \u201cLeave me alone; you will never understand; you probably don\u2019t love me anyway.\u201d And I did this without even thinking that my mother would notice let alone care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fast forward a decade &#8211; to a time when I\u2019m in my late 20s. I am living in San Diego, about 90 miles south from where I grew up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My church was having a special service for those couples that wished to take part in a \u201cRe-commitment Ceremony.\u201d Though this may have been intended for married couples to recommit their vows to each other, there were a few of us who took it outside of the box. I thought that I had been distant with my mother over the past few years, so I would invite her to this service where we could recommit to a loving adult parent-child relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignleft size-large is-resized\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/momma-kid.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15243\" width=\"291\" height=\"380\"\/><figcaption><strong>Family &#8211; Mother and Son included. <\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>I didn\u2019t know what magic would come of this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The ceremony was pretty simple at first. All of us sitting in chairs watching on as our minister gave a brief talk at the podium. She spoke of the power of commitment and the uplift of being dedicated to something higher. My mom and I observed as we sat next to each other. And then the minister asked us all to face our partners or spouses or relatives with whom we wanted to recommit at a deeper level. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The minister had us turn our chairs towards each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And that\u2019s all it took.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>All that was needed was that initial movement, that micro motion, to face towards each other. As we re-positioned our chairs to face head-on, the tears came forth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My mother instantly started crying. And she said, \u201cIf you ever thought that we didn\u2019t love you, that would break my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I recall saying, with tears streaming down my cheeks, \u201cI didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In hindsight, I guess that\u2019s how it is for all misunderstandings with loved ones, when we go into a bleak place, making up in our minds what is true for others, when the truth can actually be something wonderful, beautiful and beyond measure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I walked away from that re-commitment ceremony so light, so free, so unburdened, so full of love, and with a newfound view of my mother, and a new take on a past that was dimmed previously with pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Such a joy. Such a journey without distance. Such a victory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ending with one more quote from <em>A Course In Miracles:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c<em>Let us together, then, be glad to give some time to God today, and understand there is no better use for time than this.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/honorBookCover-200x300.jpg\" alt=\"This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is honorBookCover-200x300.jpg\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-pale-cyan-blue-background-color has-background\"><strong>James Anthony Ellis <\/strong>is an award-winning playwright, journalist and filmmaker, who is the author of eight books, including the men-focused<em><strong> \u201cThe Honor Book\u201d<\/strong><\/em> available <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Honor-Book-Reclaim-Honorable-Success\/dp\/1480148881\/\" target=\"_blank\">HERE.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>James Anthony Ellis Legacy Magazine Editor Because I wanted to really reach in and find that big victory in my life, I sat still with the question in my mind for a time. Though the success story that arises in my mind holds no huge fanfare, I think I got it. Reviewing the landscape of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":18835,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[64],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-victory"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Turning My Chair to Face My Mother - MDI - Mentoring men to live with excellence - Men&#039;s Teams<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/turning-my-chair-to-face-my-mother\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Turning My Chair to Face My Mother - MDI - Mentoring men to live with excellence - Men&#039;s Teams\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"James Anthony Ellis Legacy Magazine Editor Because I wanted to really reach in and find that big victory in my life, I sat still with the question in my mind for a time. 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Though the success story that arises in my mind holds no huge fanfare, I think I got it. Reviewing the landscape of&hellip;","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15202","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15202"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15202\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18837,"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15202\/revisions\/18837"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/18835"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15202"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}