{"id":27038,"date":"2023-06-28T18:00:57","date_gmt":"2023-06-28T22:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/?p=27038"},"modified":"2023-07-23T14:14:52","modified_gmt":"2023-07-23T18:14:52","slug":"a-secret-to-handling-motivation-in-challenging-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/a-secret-to-handling-motivation-in-challenging-times\/","title":{"rendered":"A Secret to Handling Motivation in Challenging Times"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
EDITOR’S NOTE: <\/strong>This piece – contributed with permission by author Jeff Bell – was originally printed in Psychology Today www.PsychologyToday.com <\/a>in December 2021 with the title “What the Pandemic Has (Re)Taught Me About Purpose.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Jeff Bell<\/strong> I have a confession to make \u2013 a rather humbling one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For more than a decade, I\u2019ve been writing and speaking about what I\u2019ve come to call \u201cGreater Good motivation.\u201d I\u2019ve shared with countless audiences how finding purpose and being of service saved me from the depths of OCD and depression. I even co-founded a national nonprofit\u2013The A2A Alliance\u2013to showcase the power of turning adversity into advocacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I have to be honest with you. Somewhere in the thick of this pandemic, I managed to lose sight of all that; and, as I did, I began losing my own motivation. Ultimately, I lost my compass for navigating life’s challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Admitting this isn’t easy for me, and I\u2019ve been putting off writing this post for months. My inner critic loves nothing more than to scream Fraud! at me whenever I fail to practice what I preach. And in this case, I failed miserably. Still, there are lessons to be learned from my pandemic journey, and I hope to share them with you here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n About a year ago, I found myself at a local restaurant, having breakfast with my dear friend Lee. We were sitting at a table waiting for our meals and catching up. We talked about work and our families and our shared passion for sailing And then, after a pause, Lee narrowed his eyes and leaned forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo \u2026 how are you, Jeff?\u201d he asked, with the knowing concern of a longtime confidant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, I\u2019m doing fine,\u201d I lied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lee tilted his head and said nothing. A few seconds passed in awkward silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then I lost it. First my eyes, then my cheeks, and soon my napkin grew wet with the gushing waterworks I could no longer hold back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d I whispered between poorly muffled sobs, wondering just how much attention I must be attracting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow can I help?\u201d Lee asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I couldn\u2019t speak at that moment; and even if I could, I was certain I had no answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n All I knew was that my anxiety was through the roof\u2013over Covid concerns, yes, but mostly from unrelated OCD obsessions. And despite knowing better, I was giving into my compulsions time and again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Check. Ruminate. Seek reassurance. Avoid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ruminate. Avoid. Seek reassurance. Check.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was out of control. And, with each passing day, I was growing more depressed and less motivated. Working from home, I watched as my world shrank and grew darker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sensing I was not going to be contributing much to this conversation, Lee decided to ask a follow-up question:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo you think maybe you need to help some people out there?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lee, a lawyer by trade, but a mentor by nature, knew what he was doing. He had helped me create A2A out of nothing way back when, and he\u2019d seen its empowering impact on so many\u2013including all of us working to keep it going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI hear there\u2019s something to this whole notion that we help ourselves by helping others,\u201d Lee added, citing our nonprofit’s tagline, as a pronounced grin took form on his face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And there it was: the metaphorical two-by-four “knock to the noggin” I apparently needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That evening, for the first time since the world began shutting down, I took stock of how the pandemic had impacted both me and my advocacy. I was among the lucky, really; neither I nor anyone in my closest circles had been sickened by the virus. I still had a job and robust resources all around me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But, like so many others in the advocacy world, I had lost many of the means I\u2019d come to count on for reaching out to others and making an impact. No longer could I visit schools in person or give talks at conferences. A2A events were out, and new logistics challenges forced me to shut down a long-running series of advocate profile features.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe because this all happened gradually, I didn\u2019t realize along the way how it was impacting me. Like the proverbial frog in slowly heating water, I failed to grasp that this was not going to end well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But then Lee asked his question, and I had to face some tough answers and make sense of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They were right there in front of me, those answers, in the form of this Venn diagram I\u2019d created some years back to help explain the power of turning adversity into advocacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The magic of adversity-driven advocacy works like this: By being of service to others with similar challenges, we apply our empathy in a way that provides a powerful sense of purpose and fuels our resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I\u2019d allowed my advocacy to slip away, I stopped being of service to others, and quickly squandered my sense of purpose. Without the latter, I lost my resilience and then lost my way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The good news? I could find new means to be of service again, reclaim my sense of purpose, and rebuild my resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So that\u2019s what I did. Slowly but surely, I challenged myself to find creative ways to get my advocacy back on track. I redoubled my commitment to getting A2A through the pandemic. And I promised myself I would share this very story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This post represents my promise kept. And I hope you will take from it the same reminder that Lee gave me \u2013 that we really can find purpose through service, and we really do help ourselves by helping others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n IMPORTANT: Throughout my recovery from mental health challenges\u2013early on and most recently\u2013I have made use of professional resources. I truly believe that there is no substitute for these. And for anyone in crisis, I strongly recommend you follow these guidelines <\/a>from the National Institute of Mental Health. Help is out there. And so too is hope! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Guest Contributor<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nHitting Bottom<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nThe Question<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nA Turning Point<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nPurpose Lost and Found<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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