{"id":6004,"date":"2017-07-03T00:56:13","date_gmt":"2017-07-03T04:56:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/2017\/07\/03\/how-to-find-out-what-your-kids-really-think-of-you\/"},"modified":"2021-04-23T18:38:36","modified_gmt":"2021-04-23T22:38:36","slug":"how-to-find-out-what-your-kids-really-think-of-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/how-to-find-out-what-your-kids-really-think-of-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Find Out What Your Kids Really Think Of You"},"content":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: Doug Ernst took the opportunity to contribute to the Wall of Fathers, using video interviews of his daughters. For you fathers who wish to contribute, click HERE<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Doug Ernst\nStaff Writer<\/pre>\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n
\"\"<\/a>While helping my kids grow up I didn\u2019t care much about what they thought of my fathering. I mainly thought about how I could help them acquire health, friends and good grades.<\/p>\n
Only when they started raising kids of their own did I give any thought to what kind of example I might have set as a parent.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid they learn that from me?\u201d I often asked myself or my wife while watching my kids raise their kids.<\/p>\n
Recently, thanks to the MDI Wall of Fathers project, I finally worked up the nerve to ask three of my four adult daughters if they might let me interview them about their dad.<\/p>\n
Thankfully, they agreed, and the result was a revelation for me. I was impressed by how straightforward they were, how happy they seemed to be and how great we all felt after the interviews. If nothing else, we all have a lasting cyber-memento of our time on earth together. But more than that, we confirmed with each other that our relationships have stood the test of time.<\/p>\n
I used my iPhone for the four-minute videos, which were conducted separately in my home office. (Note to fathers: shoot horizontally, not vertically).<\/p>\n
I asked each of them the same six questions, which I did not show them ahead of time.<\/p>\n
When I asked, \u201cHow would you introduce your dad?\u201d Katherine said she can\u2019t go out with me in public without being introduced to people I know in the community. The phrase she used is, \u201cI\u2019m always meeting a new friend.\u201d She called me fun-loving and well-liked.<\/p>\n
When I asked, \u201cImitate something your father would say,\u201d Rebecca said I tend to sing and hum a lot. One of my ditties, sung to the tune of \u201cO, Canada<\/em>,\u201d is a tribute to the kids\u2019 mother, Carolyn: \u201cO, Carolyn, our home and native land….\u201d<\/p>\n
When I asked, \u201cWhat valuable lesson did your father teach you?\u201d Rachelle said, \u201cAs a parent, always being there for your kids.\u201d<\/p>\n
When I asked them to finish the sentence, \u201cI remember a time when my father and I….\u201d Rebecca and Rachelle came up with the same memory — driving to a fish farm on a day when it was closed, getting ice cream instead and coming home with store-bought fish to cook.<\/p>\n
I asked them to finish the sentence, \u201cI wish my father had…..\u201d Katie said \u201chugged me more,\u201d Rebecca said, \u201ctaught me how to work on cars,\u201d and Rachelle said, \u201cthe ability to live forever,\u201d which made me choke up.<\/p>\n
Finally I asked, \u201cWhat would you want to say to your dad?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re everything to me,\u201d said Rebecca. \u201cI love you. I\u2019m really happy that you\u2019re my dad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a daddy\u2019s girl,\u201d said Katherine, fighting back tears. \u201cA big part of who I am is because of him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you,\u201d said Rachelle. \u201cI don’t think you can say much more than that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fathers who take the time to ask their kids to share memories and give some feedback could help their kids talk about their upbringing. That might help them think about setting examples for their own kids.<\/p>\n
For me, the videos brought out the positive impacts I had on my kids and cleared up some of lingering doubts about my shortcomings, mistakes or miscalculations as a dad.<\/p>\n
Interviewing my kids was well worth the risk.<\/p>\n
I hope other fathers take it.<\/p>\n
Visit the Wall of Fathers.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Editor’s Note: Doug Ernst took the opportunity to contribute to the Wall of Fathers, using video interviews of his daughters. For you fathers who wish to contribute, click HERE.   Doug Ernst Staff Writer While helping my kids grow up I didn\u2019t care much about what they thought of my fathering. I mainly thought about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":18228,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","category-recognizing-dad"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Find Out What Your Kids Really Think Of You - MDI - Mentoring men to live with excellence - Men's Teams<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mentordiscoverinspire.org\/how-to-find-out-what-your-kids-really-think-of-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Find Out What Your Kids Really Think Of You - MDI - Mentoring men to live with excellence - Men's Teams\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Editor’s Note: Doug Ernst took the opportunity to contribute to the Wall of Fathers, using video interviews of his daughters. 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